Top four do’s and don’ts to have a happy Thanksgiving

Travis Danner
Opinions/Managing Editor
This Thanksgiving, many people will be sitting around dinner tables reveling in the company of their families — smiling, laughing and absolutely gorging themselves silly on turkey, gravy and adult beverages.
Those who don’t consume with caution run the risk of acquiring a condition known as the dreaded “food coma,” more commonly referred to as the “itis.”
To reduce the risk of finding one’s self passed out in a ditch, turkey leg in one-hand, tall can of Schlitz malt liquor in the other — here are four easy-to-remember “do’s” and “don’ts” to have a safe, happy and upright Thanksgiving.
Do:
Talk to your family. Share the highs and lows of your year since the last time you congregated as a family. Be candid, open and honest. Let your family know how much they mean to you.
Don’t:
Jam so much turkey into your face that you can’t form a coherent sentence. Chew your food, please. That stuff is nasty.
Do:
Remember that gravy is very unhealthy for you. If you can’t find a healthy alternative, substitute cranberry sauce.
Don’t:
Challenge your family to a gravy chugging contest. In addition to the possibility of inducing an instant artery blockage, you really don’t stand a chance against your drunk uncle Ron.
Do:
Play football in the street with your family and the neighbors. It will help you burn the rapid calorie intake of the day.
Don’t:
Drink a 12-pack of beer by yourself and pass out while watching football.
Do:
Remember that leftovers are one of the best parts of the holiday. There’s no shame in leaving some food on your plate. Just box it up.
Don’t:
Force feed yourself those last bits of stuffing and grandma’s yams. Remember to conserve your strength for Black Friday. The United States’ economy is counting on you.

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